Raising girls in this day and age can be scary…and I will have three of them! Everywhere we turn the media, clothing companies, etc. seem to be objectifying women. Or they watch shows on television which glamorize teenage pregnancy and promiscuity. How do we make sure they don’t fall into these traps? How do we make sure they know living life which pleases the world isn’t going to fulfill them but rather leave them thrown to the wayside feeling used and abused? We need to be proactive. Everyday they are bombarded by these negative images, thoughts, and obscure beliefs so we need to outshine those with our message. God’s message. So, I’ve compiled a list:
1. You are Perfect – You need to hear you are beautiful. Not when you are dressed up, make up donned (we aren’t at that stage yet, hallelujah), and quaffed. Images of women (often unhealthy) are plastered everywhere you look, society tells you this is pretty. Or make up is needed to feel good about yourself, to be attractive, to be beautiful. This is not true. Don’t think that you need these things to think you are perfect. No, you’ll hear me tell you when you first roll out of bed, hair reaching the heavens, and drool crusted to your face, because you are. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. And your daddy thinks so too. God made you perfect.
2. You Don’t Need a Guy – This is so important for you to know. Disney paints pictures of young girls finding men, living happily ever after, in fairy tales. So you may think that you need a man to be happy; to complete the life you are certain is your future. But that is so not true. A boy doesn’t complete you, God does. Chasing or enticing or wanting a guy doesn’t make you attractive and it doesn’t make you a woman. I have seen girls chasing man after man to constantly be in relationships, to be loved, to have the attention of another’s and that breaks my heart. I want to be proactive, attentive, and compassionate. Show you your worth outside of men, teach you how special you are and how not to throw your heart (and body) away. I don’t want my daughters to be so desperate for attention that they will settle for any man that shows interest in them. That scares me, because settling for anyone can take you down paths, making decisions you never thought you’d make, and I want to guard you from that hurt. I want you to know that the only guy you need in your life for a long time is your Dad until God brings you a husband if that’s His plan.
(print by naptime diaries)
3. You Don’t Have to Believe What You Hear – Hear my affirming voice in your head. I want to breathe truth, life, and support into you. Because there will be mean girls in your life, peers with pressure and adults in your world who will let you down and have low expectations of you. The opposite is what you’ll hear at home, and hear it so often it’s like a broken record in your head. So when you hear hurtful comments, lies, and things that you know are wrong, you know where to turn, and what is right. I want my voice to lead you to Him. And don’t think that high school, popularity, and all the pressures that come with it is the end of the world. There will be life outside of those tough years, stay strong and lean on us, lean on Him.
4. You Can Change the World – Don’t ever feel inadequate because you are a woman. You are strong, powerful, and God has blessed you with many talents. You can dream big and can accomplish whatever you wish. It’s not cute to play dumb, embrace who you are and what you have to offer. God has a purpose for your life and don’t sell yourself short. Because you ARE awesome and you can do anything. Strive to always do your best. We will stand by you, proud and watch you soar like an eagle.
5. I am here for you – No matter what happens in your life, good or bad, you can come to me. I will be here for you. Never fear anything you do will change how much I love you. For if could move mountains for you I would. Please come to me for counsel, girl talk, and ask me about anything. God gave me the blessing of being your mother and I want to rejoice with you in the successes and cry with you in the mistakes. You are never too old or “too far gone” to come home. We are in this for life and I love you.
These are things I want them to hear now, while they’re young, because they are so important. Later we’ll discuss the over use of hair spray, the streaking of spray tans, and how to keep broccoli out of your braces. But for now, this its it.
What is one thing you want to share with your daughter?
(Or what would you share if you had a daughter?)
** “5 Things I want my sons to know” here! **
Love this post, Britt! Eva is already entering the mean girl phase and it kills me when she gets her feelings hurt. But we are trying so hard to make sure that Truth rings loudly in her mind and heart.
One day this year, she came home all sad and downtrodden because kids had been picking on her all day for being tiny. (Wish I had the same problem!!!) After we talked for a while, I made her go outside and shout “God made me perfectly!”. At first she mumbled it. Nope, not acceptable. It took a few tries, but she finally shouted it loud enough for the neighbors to hear.
Haley that is AMAZING!!! I teared up a little reading that, because that was EXACTLY what was in my head with this post! Eva is SO lucky to have you as her mother!
AMEN. There’s so much I want her to know–how to balance treating others kindly and being a strong woman; how to have a healthy relationship with food; how to always love learning. Mostly, though, I want her to know God. Such a great post.
Amen! Those are great things and so important too!
If there is one additional thing I would teach Emmalee (b/c I want her to know everything you posted), it would be to know that it is ok to be different and it is ok to step out and go your own way. I think too often we teach our children to be followers, and not that its a bad thing because they do need to follow rules, and be obedient to others; but I want her to know that when she feels the right thing to do is not the common thing to do, its ok to step out. Be different, be bold, and be courageous.
Ooohhh, that is such a good thing for them to know!!! I love it!
Very well said I will keep this for my daughter and read it to her…I, am a single mom and I am all of the above and proud…
Yvette Flores