Start Right

Growing up my sisters and I didn’t date much. I would like to say it was because we were so spiritual and just wanted to focus on God, but it really came down to one factor:

He’s tough.
Not only had my father been in the air force, but he rode bulls, and even fought in the World Tough Man Contest. His resume was pretty legit. And let’s be honest…no boy really stood a chance against him! So when he set down ground rules for dating in our house there was no negotiating.


Ron’s Rules For Dating:

*we needed to be at least 16 (but had to also show a certain amount of maturity)
*we had to make a list of “non-negotiables” that we wanted in our future spouse
*and the potential male had to go on a “man date” with my dad…for further questioning, ha!

Yeah, pretty scary right?!?!

I remember sitting down to write my “non-negotiable” list and things like “mandatory six pack” and “handsome” popped into my head. I envisioned a half clothed Matthew McConaughey walking up sidewalk to my front door desperately wanting to take me on a date. But realizing he was probably not in my near future I set my list a little more realistic. Plus beauty is fading…and who knows how Mr. McConaughey will look in 20 years, and let’s face it, he’s just a man of looks, ha!

For the life of me I can’t remember exactly what the list said, but I know things like; “a growing Christian” and “treats his mother well” were on there. Then I had to submit it to my father for approval.

No Lie.

Once Sam came into the picture he was submitted to all the “tests” to see if he passed the inspection to receive the Stamp of Approval. Dating a Sears girl was like trying to break into the Pentagon. Many people dream of trying but only few ever attempt, ha! When my dad took Sam on their man date he showed him my list of non-negotiables and asked him how he stacked up.

While I was a teenager my parents’ interference in my potential dating life seemed unfair and overwhelming. Now that I am not only an adult but a parent myself, I am thinking about contracting them out for my children’s dating years, ha!

My dad knew that I would look into Sam’s dreamy brown eyes and say, “What a friend we have in Jesus!” and nothing else would matter. Caring for my spiritual, emotional, and physical well being he stepped in to make sure I stayed away from the heartache of giving my heart away to the wrong person, being pressured into things I knew were wrong, and compromising my walk with the Lord.

Here’s what I’m getting at. Marriage starts long before you say “I Do” to your spouse. First and for most you need to figure out what type of man or woman you would like to see at the alter on that day. I don’t mean, “6.2′, blonde hair, blue eyes,etc.”, I’m talking about the things that REALLY matter. Is he/she a growing Christian…not do they go to church. How does he/she treat their family? Where does he/she stand politically…don’t even get me started, ha! Too many times people don’t make a list of non-negotiables and end up in a lot of trouble. If you don’t set your standards first, then you’ll fall for someone and THEN try to find ways for them to fit into the standards you’d like in a spouse.

You NEED to be spending time in God’s word. He’s knows that it’s easy for us to get caught up in looks, emotions, and all that jazz! Just like my dad, He wants to protect us….Let Him. Can you just imagine God sitting outside of your heart, shades on, arms crossed, and a revolver (aka: Judge) peering out just watching for those who try to harm you. 

And just because you meet someone who fits all your non-negotiables….that’s when the fun begins. Now you actually have to date them….and possibly spend the rest of your life with them. ha!