As I spent this past weekend doing a massive cleaning overhaul on the house, I began to wonder if I would regret it. Regret cleaning? Worry about a nice, pretty house? Who says such a thing?
But before you get all up in arms about my sleep deprived, state of delirium comment, hear me out.
When our house was a pit (and please don’t think I’m exaggerating, don’t flatter me so), we had a good thing going. You see, along with this borderline hoarder home was a sense of security. On that comforts to the core. I’m not talking about the warm fuzzies when I gaze on the piles and piles of mess in my house, no I mean a different sense of security.
We live in the ghetto. Seriously, it’s straight up thug life around us, like weekly parades of sirens, a high speed car chase, and random shady people in our neighborhood. Home sweet home. Let’s just say that safety is a luxury around these parts.
We lock up at night like nobody’s business, but I almost feel that isn’t enough. I mean once those crazies make it inside our house it’s a whole new ball game. We need to protect ourselves. And up until yesterday we had a fool proof, child proof method in tact. If the burglar somehow makes his way into our house, he will be forced to maneuver, in the dark, through the house, without busting his tail or breaking his neck on all the toys, clothes, and knick knacks strewn on the floor. For that would be a miracle my friend. This is a feat I have yet to master and one he sure as heck would not expect. We have a built in booby trap. Aren’t you jealous? I’m not worried about him eventually reaching our family, or really our need to come deal with him, nope, the poor sucker better fear for his life, because our “security system” is nothing to mess with. He wouldn’t even make it past the entryway. Falling asleep at night I would chuckle at the thought of someone trying to break into our home, almost daring them to do it. But now, now what have I done?
While I am able to breathe at easy with the messy house anxiety gone, what have I exchanged it for? How will we survive now?
Friends, I urge you. Take heed from my teachings, learn from my mistakes. For the well being of you and your family is at stake. If your house is messy, keep it that way. If it’s not, get it there as soon as possible. Shoot, I could even loan my children out to you for a few hours and they could take care of your spotless house problem. Our safety is nothing to mess around with, and my children mean business when it comes to destroying a house.
So what will you do? Will you live in fear of your clean home and the potential scariness that brings, or will you live a life of assurance in safety all the while stumbling on legos?
Which will it be?
Oh my goodness! You must live at my house… and you are hilarious! There is no doubt any burglar trying to step into our home would be thwarted by a slew of toys from one end to the other. Climbing in a window would be comical if they could get past the load of laundry lying in front of it. Thanks for the laugh… and heightened sense of security in my home. 🙂
I’m so glad you can relate…I won’t even get started on what my laundry pile is like. YIKES!
My house is a disaster too-want to come help me get mine organized? LOL! Fortunately, I live out in the sticks so don’t have to worry too much about security BUT I also have 5 dogs. One of them is a 90 pound boxer that has already broken out our front glass twice in the windows. Of course, if anyone were to get in, they would have to watch out for the dog toys and my son’s Legos–along with the occasional “accident” that my dogs seem to have from time to time. 🙂
That sounds like some top notch security right there!
Just what I needed to read today! Those shoes strewn across the entryway? STAYING THERE. LOL!
Amen! For the sake of your family! 😉
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard my husband curse a toy or shoe or box…maybe he should be scared of the dark like me and turns lights on everywhere he walks. My house is never sparkling clean, it’s always got at least a few dozen things laying out.
I can totally relate! Our last home’s layout made it where we had all the toys and kid stuff right by the front door and back door – so any potential bad guys would have left limping had they tried to bust in!!
You are hilarious but I agree stepping on a Lego is no joke and will stop anyone in their tracks!
Amen sister!
Love your take on this! I struggle with keeping the house clean and I only have 1 child. Well, 2 if you count Hubby. Enjoy your SITS Day!
Oh my goodness! I get anxiety just thinking about the fact we will be putting our house on the market next year…. I don’t get how people with kids can make their house look spotless? As soon as one section of our house is done, I look at another room and it looks like a hot mess! It is a never-ending cleaning cycle here, and I don’t think I will ever see my house completely clean again, lol.
Hahaha! I was right, you are hilarious! And I think I’ll stick with a secure home! Omigoodness, I can’t wait to tell my husband why I haven’t cleaned the house!
A whole new take on having a messy house. I have been perceiving it the wrong way all this time!!! I can’t wait to implement this thought process into my life! Lol! Loved it! I’m so using this an a reason the next time I don’t feel like cleaning the house (which will probably be this evening). Happy SITS Day!
Ah, such a plan. Nefarious but so organic. I’m sure by the time you read my comment your house will be burglar safe again. Enjoy your SITS Day and your safe night, tonight.
It’s so well put how we find safety in the clutter sometimes! Great post! xoxo
This is hilarious! I was just teasing my husband the other day that anyone breaking into our house wouldn’t stick around long, especially once they step on a LEGO…..those bad boys are deadly! Love your blog and the humor you bring to it. Have an awesome weekend! Stopping by from SITS
That’s what you call organized disorder! and we have that kind of security system too! Congrats on being featured at SITS! 🙂