*I have broken this tale up into two parts, because I figured you would die before you finished reading all of this in one sitting, haha! So I’m only thinking of you!*
The moment I found out I was pregnant with our first son Ethan I was petrified.
Honestly.
I hadn’t planned on getting pregnant.
I mean for Pete’s sake my husband and I had only been married for 6 months.
So to say the least we were shocked.
I knew things might be rough on us because we were (still are) young and couldn’t really afford to have a child. (That statement always makes me laugh. Not too many people can actually afford a child. Especially because you never know what to expect…kids are so unpredictable!) Once I got over the initial shock of being pregnant and realizing everything would change…again; I was excited! This was our baby, we made him (well God did, but you know), and he was inside my belly growing, soon to be moving and kicking.
Then it hit me.
This baby inside me would eventually need to come out…he couldn’t stay inside forever. It’s like we made or “purchase” but it was on layaway. In a couple of months you have to come back and complete your payment…and by payment I meant labor & delivery.
Oh Snap!
I was not ready to deal with the labor and delivery…that’s why I was on birth-control. For nine whole months I dreaded the inevitable. Giving birth was going to be painful…very painful, and that scared the living fire out of me!
Honestly, I don’t know anyone that is ultra excited over the thought of extreme pain. (And self inflicted pain, if you want to be truthful, haha)
Then it happened.
As I laid asleep I felt a sudden “pop” and a gush of warm liquid followed. My water had broken 40 wks on the dot. I had nine months to come to terms with this scenario and I didn’t. I could not see over that gigantic wall. Every time I played out Ethan’s birth in my head, I just fast forwarded through the pain and pushing…then just cut right to the life changing beauty of holding your own child in your arms.
After the 12 hours of painful labor, one scary failed attempt at an epidural, 2 close emergency c-section calls, and a painful episiotomy, my son was born. The pain and sacrifice of labor was paid back 10 fold with this bundle of joy. My hear filled with this unimaginable, unconditional, mind blowing kind of love. God blessed us with this fabulous, perfect, precious son. Yes we were young, possibly a little naive (haha!) but I had confidence that we would be the best parents EVER!
When we left the hospital and finally headed home, there was a weight lifted off of my shoulders. My life was now being shot through rose colored glasses. We were on our up swing, nothing in parenting would be worse than labor. Sam and I talked about how we would parent our child. We wouldn’t make silly mistakes that we had witnessed other parents make. We read books and knew what to expect.
How hard could it be?
And then the drugs wore off….
(next comes part 2)
-What is one thing that you were (or will be) so worried about while pregnant with your first child? Does is seem silly now in retrospective? (if that applies)
You are so funny. I can’t think of what I was afraid of right off hand. I should have been afraid of my pride and overconfidence! Ha!!
While pregnant with Ben I was worried about how Lucy would adjust, how we would manage sleep (she was still in our room) and nursing two kids at once. She adjusted just wonderfully, she got booted out of our room (and handled it very well), and it turns out tandem nursing was great.
While pregnant with Samuel I was worried about nursing a baby while NOT tandem nursing since nursing Lucy was pretty awful in the beginning, and I thought Ben’s wasn’t since Lu was still nursing and there was no adjustment period. It has been perfectly fine. lol