A friend of mine heard about an essay contest and thought that I should enter. As a matter of fact she dared me, and I cannot pass up a dare! Apparently she thinks my blog is funny…who knew! haha! So despite my better judgement I promised to enter an essay. Though many readers (hopefully) think my blog is funny, when I am actually forced to sit down and write something…I’m NO good! My English teachers would die! (Sorry Mrs. Valentine and Mrs. Southern!)…well they probably aren’t thrilled with the grammar exhibited on my blog anyway. BUT in my defense, it is a very informal place! I mean for pete’s sake most of you have your shoes off, wearing jammies, and snacking on some food. (maybe that’s just me?) So why should I make you feel uncomfortable by using the correct grammar, or fancy words? Nope, I love you too much to do that to you. Or so that is my reason why all of my English 101 skills aren’t being displayed.
Oh I digress. (which I’m sure you’re used to by now, haha!)
Here’s a little background about what we (the essay writers are supposed to do):
We are to finish the sentence: “I never thought I’d…” and then tell them why in a max of 1500 words.
“Whether the experience was difficult, funny, easy, or bittersweet, share your lesson…”
Sounds easy, right?! Not at all! I have three ideas to write on and my family all has different opinions on which would be better. So being the loving wife, daughter, and sister that I am…and not to mention the fact that I am extremely competitive, I have decided to write out all three topics. They will be 3/4 the way done when I let everyone read them. Once we decided on the best option I will polish it up and send it off! Oh geez!
Where do you come in?
Well I am going to let you read each idea as well! Let me know what you think, and you can even guess which family member wanted me to pursue that idea. fun? Hopefully!
On to tonight’s essay!
………………………………….
Option one:
………………………………….
I never thought I’d swallow a gold fish. But there I was, my senior year of high school, standing in front of a group of my peers about to do just that. Don’t worry, you did actually read that sentence correctly. And just so we are clear, I’m not referring to the delightful cheese flavored, fish shaped crackers. That particular fish would have saved me from spending a night hugging a porcelain toilet. Shady as my story may seem, but I am not kidding. This night was filled with bravery, determination, and sprinkled with stupidity, but what good night isn’t? Don’t pretend you’ve never had a similar experience, because I know we all have. Right? Please say yes.
You see my church youth group was nearing the end of our annual competition called The Ultimate Challenge. This challenge was a mix of Fear Factor, Olympics, and Jeopardy. My team needed some big points to move from a shameful second place to the highly coveted first place spot. Our attendance, theme decorating skills, and competitions to this point were not enough to get the job done. Unified in our decision the team decided to elect me to be our representative for this surprise challenge. Genius! As my name was called, I began my journey to the stage, and my team rose to their feet cheering. Two things were certain; I had no idea what my fear factor style challenge held, but I was determined to succeed. Failure was not an option.
Looking out into the crowd it seemed like everything around me began to go in slow motion. The lights were bright, the crowd was going crazy, and my pulse began to race. “What could the challenge be? It can’t be too bad right? You’ve got to do this?” Just as my nerves started to settle, I spotted something out of the corner of my eye. It was a glass-measuring cup, containing water and something else. My eyes blinked a couple of times to make sure I was not hallucinating, but as I seemed to zero in on the object it began to move. This thing was alive; darting around the glass cup like it was as petrified as I was. I reached out and grasped the cup puzzled as to what my fate may be. Then in a flash my brain recognized what my eyes could no longer ignore…there was a gold fish in the cup. No way. What was I supposed to do with that? Keep it as a pet? Sadly I must admit that would prove to be a challenge for me considering my track record with pet fish. “You must swallow this goldfish,” my youth pastor eagerly stated. Surely I misunderstood him, unfortunately the look in his eyes told me all I needed to know. He did expect me to swallow that fish.
Flooded with emotions of terror, anxiety, and the overwhelming urge to throw up; I didn’t know what to do. Should I run out crying like a baby, pretty sure that’s what I wanted to do- check please! It has never been in my nature to give up, but how could I complete this task with my boyfriend watching? Will he be disgusted? How could he not be? I was trying my hardest not to gag. Clearly I was concerned with all of the important things, right? Sensing I was about to “chicken out” my father yelled, “Do it Britt!” and without hesitation I closed my eyes, opened my mouth, and swallowed that sucker like my life depended on it. Gulp. All two inches of that orange, gilled creature tingled as I felt it descend into my abdomen. Though I should’ve felt a little repulsed by what I had just done, a part of me felt like sweet vindication. I stuck it to Jonah and the whale, and it felt pretty empowering to be the one not in the other’s belly. Yes! After my distorted visions of becoming a human fish tank subsided, I snapped back into reality. The audience jumped to their feet cheering for my success. Granted a success that most of them would rather not participate in. As a matter of fact I heard some whisper to others, “She did it. I can’t believe she actually did it.” Really, I couldn’t believe I actually did it either. Quite frankly who wakes up in the morning and says to themselves “I think I’ll swallow a gold fish today”, nobody in their right mind.
Let’s look past the fact that I swallowed a literal gold fish. That gold fish represented something that I was fearful of. Not only that, if I was ever so brave enough to swallow it, I was worried about what others might have thought. Each and every one of us deals with items, memories, and situations like this. Do you have the courage to do what I did? So it was a nasty little fish, but the fact that I faced my fears and took my challenge head on is something to be admired. Don’t be afraid to swallow your goldfish, tackle your fears, and in the end you’ll be better for it.
So what’s the verdict?
you are hilarious!
i totally love reading your blog. i’m a busy mom with a full time job and 2 kids under 2, but i always make time to read it! you make me laugh and smile!