Today is Ethan’s 2nd birthday; wow have those two years gone by so fast. So this post is dedicated to him…my little man! (This is a 3 part series for his birthday…the next two will be about his celebrations!)
Dear Ethan,
I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with you. I woke up because I had to go to the bathroom and I decided to take a test…when the line came back VERY faint, I took it in to your daddy. He said that I wasn’t and not to worry…not meaning “not to worry” because we didn’t want you, but that we were using protection and you my dear would be quite a surprise. So I threw the test in the trash and went to bed for a couple more hours…when I awoke for good I just had to take the test out and see again. (for some reason us crazy moms need to stare at the test over and over…I think to make the pregnancy seem real to us) I look and I really thought I saw a line, but still unsure I wrapped it up in a napkin and took it to work to show a friend of mine who had already had a baby…because I guess I thought she was the expert?! She agreed, I indeed was going to have you whether I was ready or not. I was scared…what would people think because your dad and I were so young and had only been married for 6 months. How was I going to be at being a mom. Then a calm came over me, you were going to be mine…the best part of me growing right in my belly.
The morning I went into labor was a bit crazy. I woke up at 4:30am because I felt almost what seemed like a “pop” and then a gush of water…I woke your dad up and said, “Honey, I either wet the bed, or my water just broke!” You were coming, and boy was I scared again…you see this time I feared labor. I had already loved you, but I didn’t know if I was going to survive what you were going to do to me. We headed to the hospital…and your dad was very nervous, I mean he felt completely helpless, but he arose to the occasion and stood right by my side. When we finally made it to the point where I could push, I freaked…I told your dad that I didn’t know if I could do it, but you needed to come out. So my true test as a parent came then…would I put aside my fears, my pain, and my selfish desires to give you what you needed? I pushed and gave you everything I had…and the moment I saw your face and you looked into my eyes, it was almost like you thanked me. I held you and everything else in the room stopped, you see, you were more than I EVER dreamed. SO perfect in every way…I cried with a rush of emotions, and I knew that my life was going to change…and for the better.
As each day passes I grow more in love with you. You need me and in some way I need you. We have a bond…one that no one else could ever share…and I like that. I am your mommy, and I LOVE being your mommy. As much as I would love to teach you about the world, you have already taught me so much. Everything is new to you and you don’t take anything for granted. You have such passion for things…though some of the time your passion may be directed to disobedience ;). I love when you give me hugs and you squeeze so tight around my neck that I can hardly breathe, and I love when I put you down at night we have our little saying:
“I love you best,
I love you most,
I love you high,
I love you low,
I love you deep,
I love you wide,
I love THIS much!”
And when you wake up in the mornings, you yell my name. You HAVE changed my life, and I continue to pray that I will be the mother that you deserve.
I still await the day when you accept Christ into your heart. I cry just thinking about how precious that moment will be, and I can only pray that you will at a young age. I think about the day that you get married, and I imagine what a wreck I will be and how you will be touched/embarrassed by me. I pray that you will wait for/ and find the prefect girl that God has for you. I have so many dreams for your life, and Ethan I want you to NEVER loose your passion. Be passionate about life, about Christ, about your job, about your wife, and about your family.
The sad thing is, that as each year goes by, you will need me less and less, but I will still always need you. Because: I love you best, I love you most, I love you high, I love you low, I love you deep, I love you wide…I love you THIS MUCH!
You ARE more than I ever dreamed! Happy Birthday!
Love,
Mommy
Tears.
Happy birthday, Ethan! What a fun read…brought tears to my eyes.
Moving message to the lil’ guy!
I recognize that gown! I think that must be the universal maternity wing print…LOL!
This is SO sweet… and as a momma of a boy, I can totally relate. Those boys LOVE their mommas! What a cutie you have!
So sweet.